Hamas Ate My Hamster!!! (And Other Lame Lies)

by C.A. Matthews

I’ve had a rough week. I’m feeling very irritated about life, the universe and everything.

After I watched a video of a State Department spokeswoman blaming just about everything the US has done to further Israel’s cause of genocide against the Palestinian people on “Hamas,” I was livid. But then I read a great comment by Mark (@babasonicos) on Caitlin Johnstone’s article that summed up this spokeswoman’s programmed propaganda response beautifully: “Hamas ate my hamster!!!”

It’s the ultimate liar’s “The dog ate my homework!” type of excuse. This coming week I’m sure we’ll hear a version of “You sunk my battleship!” to explain why the US is committing war crimes by bombing Yemeni tribesmen during their celebration of Eid. Nothing new there. But after that belly laugh at the absurdity of the US State Department trying to cover for our total lack of morals and compassion, I knew what was really bothering me.

I’m tired of the bullshit.

I’m tired of being gaslighted.

I’m sick to death of the lame lies we the poor and oppressed are supposed to believe without questioning.

Here we have billionaires like the Elongated Muskrat showing their true colors to the world with their greedy, self-centered, and non-empathetic behaviors, but we can’t even get the simple truth out of a State Department spokesperson about why the US taxpayer is being forced to pay for a livestreamed genocide.

Come on! Give us a break! We all know the real reason behind this inhuman insanity...

 

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KISS: Keep It Simple, Sociopath

by C. A. Matthews

It’s been really hard keeping up with what’s been happening recently in Syria and the rest of the world. Then I remembered a wise old saying, and I sat down and started listing the facts, just the facts. Here they are as simple as I can explain them:

First off, the US and its Western allies once called the group now in charge of Syria “terrorists”, but now we’re calling them “moderates” and forgiving them for all the torture and extrajudicial killings that they did. Their leader, Muhammad Al-Jawlani, used to have a $10 million reward on his head for being a terrorist with an organization formerly known as Al Qaeda. (Never heard of them before, have you?) But now we’re supposed to ignore his past because he turned in his turban for a Western-styled suit…

Yeah, that’s it. It’s sort of like a woman becoming a virgin again after twenty years of marriage and several children.

Second thing, we’re told that this recent invasion of Syria is not a land grab. Pay no attention to the Israeli military (using American provided weapons) bombing Syria 480 times in 48 hours because (in their words) the “moderates are terrorists” and can’t control their own people to Israel’s satisfaction. (But Al-Jawlani wears a suit now—doesn’t that make everything all right?) 

 

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